Be prepared for a divorce

Thinking about divorce? Make sure you’re prepared!

Here are some of the most important things for you to think about before meeting with an attorney, and a checklist to prepare before filing for a divorce, to ensure that you are set up for success and to avoid some of the most common pitfalls.

• Take a look at your finances and be prepared. Don’t walk into a divorce blind. Get a copy of your credit report, determine what you own and what is owned by your spouse. Know about all debts, and who owns what. You will then have a solid foundation to stand on as you enter into all divorce negotiations. However, be careful. You don’t want to overstep legal boundaries. For example, it is against federal law to request your spouse’s credit report without their consent.

• Get documentation to prove your income. In your divorce, you are going to need show an accurate snapshot of your income to decide financial issues – such as alimony and child support. This could be as easy as getting copies of your recent pay stubs and your income tax return. In other cases, it may be more difficult; for example, the self-employed may need bank account statements.

• Figure out what your spouse earns annually. This can be a little difficult without their cooperation, but it is important to know what your spouse’s income is. Work to get copies of their W2, pay stubs and the like – as well as knowing about bonuses and other fringe benefits. Knowing what their salary is on paper is important, but so is knowing who is responsible for health insurance, 401(k) accounts and other retirement accounts. Get as much information as possible for your attorney.

• Have a clear budget for life after divorce. Sit down and map out what your life will be like after your divorce is final. Knowing what you are going to have to pay and how much you are going to need will be a serious help should you enter into a divorce. Having this will allow you to better negotiate as you won’t be fighting for an unclear number, but will know exactly what you need and why.

• Start building your own credit. By closing all joint accounts and opening separate ones, you can start building your own credit. In many cases, credit was gained jointly and after the divorce, people can begin themselves starting from the bottom. Avoid this by getting a head start. Get your own credit card and making smart financial decisions with it to start building credit slowly and surely.

• Do everything you can to decrease your debt. If you and your spouse have debt, remember that this is only going to get worse as you enter into divorce. This can be a costly procedure and you do not want to do anything else that will cause financial strain. Start working on your debt. Work with your ex-spouse if possible to delegate debts and pay it off before filing.

• Make immediate changes to your will. It is not unlikely that you have named your ex-spouse in your will. Work with an attorney to ensure that the document is adapted to your current situation. Update it to reflect your present situation. You can change it at anytime, but why wait? Make sure that your estate is in order to prevent post-mortem lawsuits.

• Go through and make copies of all important documentation. Having copies of important documents can be crucial during the divorce process. This will include tax returns, bank statements, life insurance policies, mortgage documents, real estate appraisals, automobile titles, wills, investment statements, credit card statements and the like. Work with your spouse to have the clearest idea of the family finances if possible – keep records of everything.

 And most importantly,

          Always put the needs of your child(ren) first. Divorce is never simple, but remember that this is going to be much more difficult for your child(ren) than it is for you. Do everything that you can to put their need s first. Make sure you sit down with them to discuss everything that is going on. Make it clear that they are not the cause and that they are still loved. Do as much as you can to keep their routine normal and stay involved in their lives. Do not fight in front of them and drag them into the divorce. Maintain a healthy, loving environment to protect them against the worst of the divorce.